The Firm’s silencing techniques have worked! Hallelujah!
September 13, 2008
It doesn’t look like Cancer Boy is going to be in any trouble at all if the latest news is anything to go by.
According to the Adelaide Advertiser
“The police say while they have taken a “very proactive approach to it”, no one had made a formal complaint.”
That’s so not true. I was just getting my $2 million dollar claim formalised.
After all, can we so soon forget? Is someone going to make a formal complaint or what? This is the time, I tell ya, to have recovered memories of donations you made to the guy in the chair above for no reason. It’s a bit like fake cancer, only different.
See, they’ve already started paying:
” “Unless further information comes to light or people that may have been affected by Mr Guglielmucci action’s come forward, no further police investigations are likely,” he said.
At the centre of the inquiry was a website, established by a friend of Mr Guglielmucci, asking for donations to the Praying Together for Mike Guglielmucci cancer cause.
“We have tracked that but as far as monetary amounts are concerned, we can’t comment on that,” Det-Supt Jeffery said.
Despite two people complaining to The Advertiser about feeling duped after donating money to cause, police said the majority of people who gave money were interstate.
No one has yet made any formal complaint to police interstate.
Mr Guglielmucci’s father, Danny, the founder of Edge Church at Reynella, yesterday confirmed four people had received refunds after writing to a post office box the church established.
“They were small amounts,” a spokesman said yesterday.”
REFUNDS?????!!!!!
DO YOU HEAR THAT WORD REFUNDS? IT’S MY FAVOURITE WORD AFTER CREDIT!!!
Small amounts means they put away sooooo much more expecting huge claims and they can’t believe every single person who gave feels too guilty and hell-bound if they ask for their money back…Brainwashing is a mighty mighty tool.
I’m going to my room to cry.
Mike Guglielmucci knows how old they are
September 1, 2008
Cancer Boy made my heart race too fast last week. I’m too old for the Pentecostal roller coaster these days: Revelations of fake cancer, an addiction to ADULT porn, Today Tonight, a move in PR excellence, and the biggest outpouring of love for fraudsters since Milli Vanilli had to give the Grammy back. And all they did was a little Ashlee Simpson…
I have definitely decided that this is one of my top five TV Evangelist Happenings:
Please comment here as there were many contestants that sprung to mind almost immediately.
My personal top 5 mental health poster children of the TV evangelists would have to be:
5. Pastor Mike Guglielmucci fakes his own bone cancer while writing Christian music about being sick
4. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker commit every sin against the bible and fashion imaginable. And some no one had thought up.
3. Benny Hinn announces that Jesus Christ will appear on stage with him (you must watch this)
2. Jimmy Swaggart’s biblically spectacular confession of epic proportions
and as I said if you think there’s a stronger contender by all means speak up, but I think the most ingenious and successful fraud campaign by a TV evangelist is
1. Oral Roberts says God will kill him if he doesn’t get 8 million dollars.
It’s my favourite because it’s just straight up spiritual extortion. No two ways about it. Oral was the GodFather of the AoG, the original Organised Criminal of the AoG, the Brando, the Don, whatever you want to call him.
Mikie showed such strong promise as an AoG extortionist, but it’s back to the dungeon for him, until restoration is complete. Mikie’s such an amateur. For one, he admitted he made the whole thing up. Something a true AoG professional would NEVER do. It’s like a magician saying I didn’t really saw the pretty lady in half.
We know you guys make everything up, Cancer Boy. If your legs weren’t broken before, I’d be avoiding dark alleys in the Bible Belt if I were you Mikie.
Last thinkings…Cancer Boy and Daddy Danny have been very specific that Danny was “addicted to ADULT pornography” , just so as you know it wasn’t CHILD porn that made him tell everyone he was terminally ill. What was wrong with the voices from a neighbours dog like the Son of Sam? Ah, the good old days.
Which means Cancer Boy knew the difference between PORN and VERY BAD PORN. Almost like the difference between right and wrong, or having cancer and faking it to get international fame. Amazing lucidity again for someone who pulls out their own hair and rides around in a wheelchair just to get their father’s attention.
Amanda Guglielmucci is one smart lady
August 28, 2008
When you’re Married to the Mob, your choices are limited.
Like our own Judy Moran or Roberta Williams , you won’t hear a mobster’s wife dissing her man. But in true Underbelly fashion Amanda knew nothing. She just never made it to the doctor’s with Mike. Not once. Why would she?
Can you imagine your spouse being sick with terminal cancer and not once meeting a doctor? These guys have all kinds of faith.
So Amanda Whoever-she-was before she married big obviously knows her place in the Firm. She likes Mikie and all his mysterious illnesses; she’s probably like a nurse or something helpful like that. Was that is, until she stopped work to care for him.
Daddy Danny with his dodgy goatee has brainwashed this one well. She is able to parrot an AoG response to this problem so well, I want to rush right up to her and throw her a bunch of flowers on stage. She says
“We’re just not going to rush anything, we’re gonna walk through the process, however slowly it needs to happen, in order for the healing and restoration to be complete and then we’ll go from there.”
She’s very smart. The Firm doesn’t approve of resistance. Even if your husband is a porno freak Cancer Boy, you smile and say yes and Jesus loves us. Otherwise you’re history. They’ll paint you up as a frigid psychopath and get everybody on side with the one who was faithful, and didn’t doubt the promises of the National Executive God…
She knows her place, and she’ll be knowing it better when she has to do jail visits. Then she’ll know what being part of the Firm is all about…till death do us part. Still Amanda is a good Christian.
Mrs Guglielmucci said her faith in God had remained unmoved throughout the ordeal.
“At times like this, it’s just a stronger resolve,” she said.
I guess if you can believe the world is 6000 years old and that Cancer Boy was on death’s door you’ll believe that this was God’s will like everything else.
Amanda’s Mikie’s good girl. His really good girl. And that’s just how Mikie likes em.
I found my Xmas card photo early this year!!!
August 26, 2008
A lot of you are thinking I’m over the top, I know. You’re saying it’s too early to get excited about the holidays, but to heck with it!!!! I can’t get enough of this photo. I know you say but why, why be so narrow about one picture, especially when there’s this one WITH WHEELS INCLUDED????:
and then there’s this one of course, a favourite amongst the elderly and terminally ill, people who perhaps, just perhaps have no one understanding to leave their lonely millions to. This one’s tempting….
He looks like he’s practically
at home with Jesus here….
But above we have the entire National Executive in this tremendous photo opportunity unified in praying for one of their own sons to be healed of a cancer that God’s finest can’t tell is already healed, hallelujah!
Mostly my favourite part is Father Brian’s obvious discomfort with having to go near a human being who is suffering (even though Cancer Boy looks like he just came back from chopping down a forest)
Father Brian is keeping as far a distance as possible from all that negative attitude, cancer talk and humanity. He’s willing to extend a hand, but Father Brian is happy the brothers are there to do the up close and icky stuff. He was never called to be a people person.
I’ve changed my mind about Father Brian too, thinking about that. He displays almost the same revulsion at the thought of genuine human emotion and this whole “real” bit that I do. Or maybe Father Brian just knew about the movies Cancer Boy had been watching and didn’t want to catch anything.
We knew nothing! AoG confirms stupidity again!
August 25, 2008
Okely, dokely. So now, Adelaide franchisee pastor Daddy Danny Guglielmucci has read a statement to the shareholders congregation that talks about how he and his wife Shazza and even Cancer Boy Mikie’s Wife Amanda didn’t know a thing.
This is incredible. We’re talking about a man who believes in prosperity theology and faith healing, someone who claimes to know a lot. We’re talking about one of Father Brian’s best buds. You telling me Father Brian didn’t know AGAIN?
This is so weird cos this happens happens all the time. Father Brian never knew about what his dad was doing with young people when it was time to lay hands on them, NOBODY knew about what happened to the girls at Mercy Ministries despite months and months of sending emails to the Nancys and Darlenes of the world.
And now, despite knowing stuff like that he has to buy a piece of land for $28,000,000, Father Brian doesn’t even get told by the Big Guy that his mate’s kid IS FAKING CANCER????!!! Freakier than that, NOT ONE other person around Cancer Boy got told either! Not his father, or any of his international pastor accomplices peers.
I’m shocked. Why does God tell them everything else about who’s good, who’s bad, who to vote for, what to wear, and who to give money to, but not this? I thought these guys were talking on the mainline!
People wonder why I can’t watch Neighbours. It’s not the acting I swear. It’s getting brought up by the Penties, the drama don’t come any better than this!
So here’s my favourite part. As part of his speech to the mentally kidnapped audience Daddy Danny, having finished with how painful the whole cancer thing had been to him and Shaz, announced that Mikie knew what he was doing the whole time, but couldn’t figure a way out. He knew what he was doing when he wrote the song, but he couldn’t tear himself away from being the biggest evangelist hero the world has ever known.
In September in 2006, Mike had an accident and went to hospital. It was at this time, because of his torment of living a double life, Mike thought he could escape the pain by creating a diversion from his addiction to adult pornography, so he created the cancer scenario.
The pain of this addiction was so deep that he started something he couldn’t stop and proceeded on a downward spiral that led to him experiencing pain and suffering that resulted in constant vomiting and many other symptoms of a genuine sufferer.
This goes a long way to prove intent. I would have stuck with a purely psychiatric defense and gone for diminished responsibility. He could have found a good psych with a specialty in Munchausen syndrome. If everyone kept their mouth shut, the way they have so far, the whole thing could have been over in a year. A judge would have given him a good behaviour bond at worst and insanity at best. Counselling and a small donation to the Cancer Council and it’s over.
But DaddyO just couldn’t keep his look-at-me-but-blame-the-porn trap shut.Now there’s clear intent. Now there’s lucidity. Now there’s fraud.
I’m just kicking back waiting for Mikie’s phone billt to come in. Big Daddy Danny will be reading that like a hawk. Hope he doesn’t dial up any of those trillion 1900 numbers. He’s gonna get to know his son like God never told him about before.
The ABC’s of coverup in the AoG: Whitewashing for Beginners
August 24, 2008
It’s damage control time in the Assemblies of God and the boys are hard at work minimising the panic and reassuring the masses that brainwashing is still OK. I will offer some interpretations lest there be any confusion about these vague offerings.
Daddy Danny Goebbels Guglielmucci addressed his 1,000 congregation to announce that his son was a pathological liar and a porn addict. All is not lost when you’re a Planetshaker though. 1,000 is a pretty tragic headcount though. No wonder they all had Small Pastor Syndrome.
So what’s gonna happen to Mikie? A restorative process that Daddy Danny says includes five things but I can only see 3.
“So now these five things must apply to him. He must humble himself, (face the ACC/AoG Board again)
he must again hunger after God, (will be told to pray and fast, not the worst idea for Mikie)
he must be committed to holiness, (no more porn ever again for Mikie, they’ll spy on him religiously)
to honour God, (do what the Board of Planetshakers and the National Executive say)
to honour church (not be in leadership for probably 5 years but still sing songs)
, and to honour everybody in the community, (make a donation to a Hillsong charity)
” he said.
“He must also have a heart to heal his own brokenness before he can ever reach out to the brokenness of others.” (The National Executive will decide when he will be let back out in public and if he shows any future profit potential)
If the history of pastors such as Pat Mesiti and his mate Gary Zelesky are anything to go by, the restoration process involves a holiday with your own pastor and a trip to Fallen Pastors’ Camp somewhere in the US. Oh hang on that’s what Daddy Danny said today:
“Pastor Guglielmucci says his son may need to attend an overseas clinic, to overcome his behaviour.
Mr Guglielmucci’s lawyer says the preacher is receiving psychiatric treatment in Adelaide.”
Then it’s home, stay low, keep tithing, and get ready for the comeback. Just ask Pat and Gary. Forgivness is a lucrative new ministry.
Poor Mikie. Probably it’s probably a psych from the congregation. It’s very Rosemary’s Baby sometimes.
Then it’s home, stay low, keep tithing, and get ready for the comeback.
Everyone gets their money back!
August 24, 2008
I just remembered I gave $2 million dollars to Mike Guggliemucci for his fake cancer. And now this morning one of Al Cappone’s henchmen, Daddy Danny promised everyone who gave (while neatly avoiding the concept of whether or not this cash was solicited directly) all their money back.
And that’s when I realised.
I gave all that money and never asked for a receipt because I just knew G-d would use to it to further the Kingdom! It’s giving money to Danny I mean Mike I mean sorry God, it’s not giving money to a man. You hand over the cash, G0d sends a coupla archangels down on Tuesdays around 4, and what happens after that is nobody’s business.
Actually I don’t think the Firm should have to pay anyone back at all. The porn made him do it, so basically Larry Flynt and Hugh Hefner have got one hell of a class action coming there way.
Can I blame 80’s sitcoms for making me into the twisted and dangerous one liner that I am today? Or do I have to pay them? I’m going to sue the cast of Cheers. Look at what’s become of me!!!!
Porn makes you lie about being terminally ill. There had to be a slut somewhere to blame for this.
August 23, 2008
And in the latest installment of Pastors Who Lie About Bone Cancer, father of the year Mike Brady Danny Gugglielmucci is wondering what he missed. Apparently it was the stacks of playboys under his son’s bed from the time he was 12. Too bad he was travelling state to state raising cash for the AoG and Family First to take his kid to the doctor though.
Anyfraud, the Gugglielmuccis Senior saw no point in taking young Mikie to a doctor at the same time when he started getting ‘mystery illnesses.’ I know nothing but maybe some child abuse experts would like to chime in here. But who needs a doctor when you’ve got faith right? These people should be jailed or hospitalised or both. And besides, going to the doctor might admit something was wrong.
So nice to see Daddy Danny act all caring and sharing, when other community members report the fear his children had all through their lives of Daddy himself.
Poor sick Mikie. Too much porn makes a person lie about cancer, and have a bestselling single with it.
You know what the question is. Not how did Mikie make himself vomit, pull out his hair and get nosebleeds when he was around his father and his used car salesman mates. Not even where were the doctors?
It’s what made Mikie suddenly confess? He was on to a good and sweet thing, and it was only getting better. He couldn’t have had a moment of insight or conscience. These are both concepts absent from the pastor’s job description. So what was it that Mikie couldn’t hide anymore?
Was it because Jenna Jameson retired?
Maybe he’d been watching everything she ever did, and the thought of never seeing her oxygen tanks again was truly killing him. I know a lot of men are devestated by it, but Mikie why give up your day job? Come on, you can be honest with us, like you have all along. Maybe you could write a song about it?
Poor Danny G. “It’s horrendous because we don’t have that sort of stuff around. He was raised in a Christian home; we’ve never brought that stuff into our home.”
And he still can’t see the problem. Betcha Mike’s getting one hell of a belting when he gets home.
Regular folk who lie about cancer go to the Big House.
August 23, 2008
“She apologised for the small amount,” Judge O’Sullivan said.
“It is a measure of your criminality you were undeterred by this and accepted the money,” he said.
We can only hope Mikie boy gets a Judge like this one. Oh, and that he likes building things out of matchsticks, and showering in groups.
Read more about the other hobag here.
Raising money for cancer to give to Mercy Ministries
August 23, 2008
Here’s the cached Google page from Facebook raising money for Mike to give it to Mercy Ministries. That would be odd enough but when you see that his father Pastor Danny is or has been on the board of Mercy Ministries US, it turns from rotten to putrid.