The ABC’s of coverup in the AoG: Whitewashing for Beginners
August 24, 2008
It’s damage control time in the Assemblies of God and the boys are hard at work minimising the panic and reassuring the masses that brainwashing is still OK. I will offer some interpretations lest there be any confusion about these vague offerings.
Daddy Danny Goebbels Guglielmucci addressed his 1,000 congregation to announce that his son was a pathological liar and a porn addict. All is not lost when you’re a Planetshaker though. 1,000 is a pretty tragic headcount though. No wonder they all had Small Pastor Syndrome.
So what’s gonna happen to Mikie? A restorative process that Daddy Danny says includes five things but I can only see 3.
“So now these five things must apply to him. He must humble himself, (face the ACC/AoG Board again)
he must again hunger after God, (will be told to pray and fast, not the worst idea for Mikie)
he must be committed to holiness, (no more porn ever again for Mikie, they’ll spy on him religiously)
to honour God, (do what the Board of Planetshakers and the National Executive say)
to honour church (not be in leadership for probably 5 years but still sing songs)
, and to honour everybody in the community, (make a donation to a Hillsong charity)
” he said.
“He must also have a heart to heal his own brokenness before he can ever reach out to the brokenness of others.” (The National Executive will decide when he will be let back out in public and if he shows any future profit potential)
If the history of pastors such as Pat Mesiti and his mate Gary Zelesky are anything to go by, the restoration process involves a holiday with your own pastor and a trip to Fallen Pastors’ Camp somewhere in the US. Oh hang on that’s what Daddy Danny said today:
“Pastor Guglielmucci says his son may need to attend an overseas clinic, to overcome his behaviour.
Mr Guglielmucci’s lawyer says the preacher is receiving psychiatric treatment in Adelaide.”
Then it’s home, stay low, keep tithing, and get ready for the comeback. Just ask Pat and Gary. Forgivness is a lucrative new ministry.
Poor Mikie. Probably it’s probably a psych from the congregation. It’s very Rosemary’s Baby sometimes.
Then it’s home, stay low, keep tithing, and get ready for the comeback.
Comments
13 Responses to “The ABC’s of coverup in the AoG: Whitewashing for Beginners”
Got something to say?
I’d like to hear what Dr. Phil would say about all this…now wouldn’t that be interesting…
Does bi-polar disorder mean anything to you? You’re so funny but in a sick way that concerns me.
I’ve seen this first hand. Perhaps you should get some help. Seriously, I’m concerned for you.
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?
Take care.
Shalom.
God will not be mocked… (made fun of)
People are easy targets,
Who do you say Jesus is?
He is the Messiah, King of Kings, My Judge…
Creator of every living thing…
I could go on…
No but Munchaussen’s does, hey Mikie?.
I say people wouldn’t laugh if it weren’t true.
Thank you for the referral to Dr. Phil. He’d make a great evangelist all that shame and blame and self-righteousness, but then Oprah’s bigger than Kenneth Copeland….
You’re good a dodging questions…
Who do you say Jesus is?
He is whoever you say he is. If he wasn’ t, then why would you say he is?
Tanya Levin
Your name means dear friend “heart” and fairy princess? - (I thought this was a fairy free zone!) Hey, I’m funny too.
What does Jesus mean to you personally? Does his name mean anything to you?
Have you ever really looked for Him?
You keep avoiding this.
In case you didn’t know:
Your surname is Hebrew
http://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/meaning_of_Levin.html
You may be a descendant of the Levites? The scribes and law keepers. I found it interesting anyway. I think names are interesting.
Maybe your bitterness stems from a parental relationship, only God knows, but a true prophet can tell you everything you ever did.
Have you ever encountered a real prophet?
Too lazy to look?
He promises.. if you seek, you will find. (which means actively looking not sitting on your backside!) You remember hide & seek don’t you?
He can be trusted Tanya, God is not like your own father,
Pray( talk candidly) tonight to Him. He loves you Tanya. I know you’ve probably heard it a million times.
Nevertheless, It’s the truth.
Rev 3:20
Dear Tanya Levin,
Your name means dear friend “heart” and fairy princess? - (I thought this was a fairy free zone!) Hey, I’m funny too.
What does Jesus mean to you personally? Does his name mean anything to you?
Have you ever really looked for Him?
You keep avoiding this.
In case you didn’t know:
Your surname is Hebrew
http://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/meaning_of_Levin.html
You may be a descendant of the Levites? The scribes and law keepers. I found it interesting anyway. I think names are interesting.
Maybe your bitterness stems from a parental relationship, only God knows, but a true prophet can tell you everything you ever did.
Have you ever encountered a real prophet?
Too lazy to look? I would encourage you to seek Him if you value yourself. You are valuable, God would sacrifice so much if we weren’t special to him
He promises.. if you seek, you will find. (which means actively looking not sitting on your backside!) You remember hide & seek as a child don’t you?
He can be trusted Tanya, God is not like your own human father. or men at all
My mother and step father lied to me my entire life.. . so if anyone knows about the damage lies can do, I do. Yet that doesn’t mean I hold on to bitterness, because I realise that it is so exhausting to carry that around.
Pray( talk candidly) tonight to Him. He loves you Tanya. I know you’ve probably heard it a million times.
Nevertheless, It’s the truth.
Rev 3:20 (I hope you have a bible)
Shalom and goodnight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.
umm, i love shameless advertising (look at me, look at me)
wow trudi, you ask some really thought prooking questions, NO ONE’s EVER put it like that before.
what’s that veiled threat about bed bugs? interesting choice of words considering your reference to rev3:20. i had know idea you knew so much about jewish culture? what exactly did your parents lie to you about? If god is nothing like a man why do you keep referring to him using a boys name? so many questions. thanks for your well thought out responses it’s really given me food for thought.
shameless advertising (look at me, look at me)
Wow trudi, NO ONE’S EVER put it quite like that before, you have a lot of original thought and really articulate it so interestingly. although what exactly your veiled threat regarding bed bugs is supposed to mean i’m not sure, especially with regard to your reference of rev 3:20… What exactly did your parents lie to you about? I wouldn’t usually ask but you brought it up, and if god is not like a man at all why do you keep referring to him using a boys name?
Trudi - I think it could be YOU that needs help. You seem to be the only one on here that keeps nagging Tanya about Jesus.
If God is so great, he will draw her back to him when he feels like it, and when she is damn well good and ready. Not just because you keep thinking that you need to badger her until she submits.
That’s why people steer clear of churches - is people that bash you over the head with, Jesus died for you, you must feel guilty and thus come back to the church and comply with our way of thinking.
Give it up.
Dear tanya
I think yoor styooopid. and I think this sight is styooopid.
but I think that lolcats rool the worldz.
luv, paulpa
ps: happy birfday you styoopid heeb.
Trudi, are you cyberstalking Tanya? It certainly looks like it… But I guess fundies have to have someone to have a go at for challenging their beliefs.. And Tanya’s definately perfect for that job!
Trudi,
Have you ever really thought for yourself. Read any book that was remotely critical of religion. Or do you just sit there fingers in ears and repeat scripture like a mantra to drown out your doubts.
Take your Jesus spam, and your pop psychology and have a good hard think.
Now on the topic at hand.
Isn’t it interesting the way that fundamentalists in particular dodge responsibility and consequences? So Mike committed fraud because he watches porn? Interesting how the church spins criminal action by one of its pastors and blames one of their identified enemies/bugbears.
Mike is a criminal. He should be charged, imprisoned and do the time. He should never hold a position of power within the church again.