Random Questions About the Bible #1

It's pretty much a given now that the bible is questionable, if not laughable, when used for historical or moral evidence. It's useful for nostalgia, but not much more. It befuzzles me endlessly that Christians of any branch of liberalism are able to cling to a doctrine so flawed and so necessarily evil. It is, like all the other fairytales full of cruelty and injustice. But it was part of my childhood and still carries on into our global lives, despite how wrong it proves itself to be. I literally do not know how Christians do it.

Yet, as one who was brought up in both a Judeo and Christian household, there are still questions that run through my mind. Some are scary, some funny, and many just plain random. Since the Bible doesn't add up to much, they don't mean anything. But I'm going to ask them anyway.

The obsession is all about the human body, and what you do with it, but there's so much more to the bible, that is ignored, glossed over, or glorified which is horrific, stupid, and weird. Try the Skeptics' Annotated Bible for the prime example of the information we have at our fingertips. Yet, Christians persist, unstoppably.

So, I guess I will too.

#1 Will animals be there on Judgement Day?

In Genesis 9:5 NKJV (or #newkingjamesversion just to be fancy) it says

"Surely for your lifeblood I will demand a reckoning; from the hand of every beast I will require it, and from the hand of man. From the hand of every man’s brother I will require the life of man.

Now, clearly this is a death penalty advocate's dream come true, but we're overlooking the important part. "from the hand of every beast I will require it, and from the hand of man." These seem like two different beasts. Man and the hand of every beast. Not or, or a.k.a, but and. All capable of murder one it appears.

This is all part of the speech God gave Noah when the flood was dried up and he could go back to life as it was before God changed his mind in Genesis 6, NOT 7 chapters into the whole Bible. I always found it comforting that God could make all creation and then change his mind and call it a big mistake?

So, if animals are expected to account for every time they shed human blood, then it really does change things. It means they had choice. They didn't have to kill the human but they did and God is going to make them pay. It means the lion really did attack Ziegfried or Roy or whichever one got maimed by their adoring animals.

It means that bears maul you to death in the woods for fun, and sharks genuinely love the taste of your blood. It would mean that your cat does actually purposefully vomit inside when she could go outside. It means your dog does know exactly what you're doing, and he's probably laughing at you, like you think he is.

Is this just some tiny insight into what animals can do? I mean if they have morality, they must have awareness more than we realise. Memories, ideas for a better tomorrow, and hopes to see their kids have a better life. You think you're worried about the environment?

But what's worrying me, mostly is the Judgement day issue. Maybe there's a whole animal bible that we know NOTHING about like how to make up your cave kosher, and where to pee in the park that is sacred. Who knows what other animal sins there's going to be an animal hell for? Can you imagine how long Judgment Day is going to go for them?

There's been 107 billion humans EVER, it's going to take eternity to decide whether Rover goes to an eternity of cooked meals and green fields or one where Cats reign over EVERYTHING...